Cinderelric
by Totschafe
Summary: A Cinderella parody with mindless humor. If you're not insane, I would suggest you don't read. Contains the Time Warp, Ed breakdancing, Fury being a DJ, Envy's weird allergic reaction, Al being Ed's halfbrother, and other insane things.


Aloha! My first FMA comedy is finally here after almost a half of a year now. I wrote it first in my Language Arts class and got an A. Then my friend told me I should post it here. I though it was so mindless that no one would read it. Then I remembered that my sanity is as low as most of the people on here, so what the heck. I made a few revisions and here it is! But before you read this, your sanity must be on the brink of destruction. I would suggest listening to Rocky Horror Picture Show song Time Warp before reading this. There is NO sanity in this fic. I don't own Allegra-D, Twisted Sister, Chuck Taylors, the FBI (dangit!), the IRS (but if I did...), a limo, the Numa Numa dance, Istanbul, songs about Istanbul, FMA (dangit times one hundred!), or any other references with any copyrights. So have fun!

* * *

Once upon a time, a long time ago, in a land called Central, lived a young boy named Cinderelric. He lived in a great big house with his two half-brothers, Alphonse and Envy and his mean aunt named Pinako. To describe Cinderelric, he had long blond hair that seemed to be in a permanent braid, and golden eyes that could make your heart melt. He was very...how to put this...okay then. He was a midget. He also had a non-existant tolerance for nicknames. But everyday, he was forced to clean the great big house while his brothers lounged around, or were chased by fangirls... Either way, he had to clean out the fireplace, wash the kitchen floor with a toothbrush, vaccuum, clean the 1,498 windows with toilet paper, feed the cat, sign contracts, write bad checks, beat the IRS senseless, keep the FBI from finding out what was in the basement, everything. 

One morning, Cinderelric got up before the sun rose like he did every morning. He got dressed in his usual. Black boots, pants, and shirt, red trench coat with the alchemy symbol on the back and white gloves. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. He opened it to see Envy, his oldest brother. A plate with a cube of cheese in one hand and a skirt in the other. A miniskirt. Envy grinned sadistically, showing his pretty teeth.

"Here's your breakfast pipsqueak. And your new uniform."

Cinderelric growled evily, his temper building. That smile, that evil smile. That skirt, that evil and feminine skirt. Then he lost it.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO SHORT THAT YOU HAVE TO PICK HIM UP WITH TWEEZERS?"

Envy laughed and shook his head. He was so mean sometimes. No wait, all the time. He was just a mean brother. But Cinderelric, being the weak, defenseless, strange little midget he was, took the skirt and the cheese cube and closed the door on a laughing Envy.

He was in the kitchen and making breakfast for his evil family by 5 o' clock. The miniskirt was giving him a wedgie and he wanted more cheese. Being about the size of a mouse often rubbed off on him. He worked and worked with so much effort and energy, slaving over the counter, working like a trooper. When he was done, he looked at his work. Rice Krispies for Aunt Pinako, Lucky Charms for Envy, and an oil can for Alphonse. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and smiled. Then he looked around quickly to see if anyone was watching and snuck into the refrigerator. There sat the biggest, most beautiful and stunning block of cheddar cheese that he had ever seen. He licked his lips and just began to reach for it when he heard it. Those quick footsteps of doom, and the voice he dreaded since he was a child.

"Cinderelric, what do you think you're doing with that cheese? I thought Envy gave you enough!"

"I'm sorry Aunt Pinako! I just needed something else. A cube of cheese isn't enough for me!"

And yet again, he forgot about his shrimpy little aunt's temper. Before he knew it, he was hit in the head with a rolling pin repeatedly. He squealed in fear of the pin-wielding midget aunt and quickly picked up the bowls (and the can) and ran into the dining room.

It was always Envy's morning routine to take a shower before breakfast to clean off his gravity-defying green hair so he could be pretty. It was also customary for Cinderelric to clean off the bathroom mirror (make that 20 mirrors because Envy was an egomaniac). So that morning, Cinderelric went into the bathroom to clean off the mirrors when he heard something he wasn't supposed to hear.

"Mai-a-hii!

Mai-a-huu!

Mai-a-ha!

Mai-a-haha!"

Envy was a shower singer! Cinderelric went pale and looked over to see Envy's silouhette doing the Numa Numa Dance. He was a shower dancer too? Cinderelric quickly cleaned off the mirrors as quickly as he could and did a swan dive down the stairs and somersaulted into the dining room, just in time for Envy to make a graceful decent down the stairs after him, humming the Numa Numa Song to himself. The two didn't notice the numerous fangirls swarming outside of their windows trying to see Cinderelric in a miniskirt and Envy in a towel.

Pinako, Envy, and Alphonse all sat down to eat. They didn't even thank poor little Cinderelric. He just went along, cleaning the stairs and dusting the fireplace. He heard his "family" talking about the price of tea in China and whether or not ice cream should be sold in cans. Strange conversation, but Cinderelric dared not comment, in fear of his rolling pin wielding aunt, his insane and envious older brother, and his suit of armor for a younger brother. So he continued cleaning until he heard a knock on the door.

"CINDERELRIC! GO ANSWER THE DOOR!"

"Yes Aunt Pinako!"

He ran to the door and opened it. There in front of him were two men in black suits, sunglasses, and little wires going into their ears.

"Hello madame. We work for the FBI. We have recieved comments about green toxic gases coming from your attic and basement windows. We're here to investigate."

Cinderelric was very close to beating them to heaven and back for the 'madame' comment. But he remembered the drill. He leaned forward a bit and motioned for the two men to lean in to listen. They did and he looked around quickly.

"Well sirs. You see, my brother has a serious gas problem. It's gotten so bad over the years that it turned his hair green. We have tried to fix it, but no doctor wants to help in fear of being gassed to death."

One of the men nodded and stood up.

"We'll need evidence of this gaseous brother,"

"Okay sirs. HEY ENVY! THE FBI ARE HERE!"

Envy walked over, looking at the two men. Their eyes widened at the sight of the green-haired boy He smiled evily and let loose the most hazardous fart known to man, animal, plant, tree, insect, and even rocks. The FBI men coughed once and nodded, turning around and running back to their cars, screaming.

"WE NEED BACKUP!"

Envy just smiled in satisfaction and walked away, leaving Cinderelric twitching in pain. The gas was starting to get to him.

Cinderelric decided that he would have to start making more gas-resistant windows for the house so that none of the 'experiments' would be revealed or noticed. The experiments were in a word, disgusting. Envy forced Cinderelric to create the ultimate hair gel. But the experiments usually failed which made toxic gases come out from the failures. Cinderelric was very afraid of his own experiments because sometimes they would get a mind of their own. One tried to eat him and almost succeeded if it wasn't for the fact that it was only gel so Cinderelric could break through it. Envy was also starting to lost much patience with Cinderelric and was now throwing tantrums every now and then.

The next day, Cinderelric went to check the mail. He saw three identical letters. One to Al, one to Envy, and one to...him? He took his letter and examined it. It was on parchment paper with the Fuhrer's hexagram on it. Looking around suspiciously, he stuffed the letter in his jacket and ran inside with the other two letters. Setting them on the table, he made breakfast very quickly and cleaned the floor in the kitchen with a toothbrush. Then, when he had a break, he ran into his room and locked the door, ripping the letter open.

_Dear Mr. Edward Elric,_

_You have been cordially invited to a ball at the Central Headquarters (which we cleaned to make a ballroom) in celebration of Princess Riza's birthday. It will be on Saturday from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m. (which is tonight you idiot!)_

_Sincerely,_

_The People That Own Your Soul_

He didn't know why they called him Edward. He had always been called Cinderelric, but he went along with it. He was half-delighted and half-sad at the invitation. He wanted to go, but there were some problems that faced him. First of all, he didn't have anything to wear other than his normal clothes, or the mini-skirt. And second, his family would never let him go. He considered just throwing the letter away. But something drove him to place it on the endtable (which was made out of popsicle sticks) and not throw it away.

There was a knock on the door and he slowly rose to answer it. He unlocked the 29 locks and opened the door. There, yet again, was Envy. He had a sort-of frown on his face.

"Did you get invited?"

"To what?"

"Don't play stupid chibi-san. I see the invitation."

Cinderelric had to hold his hand behind his back so he wouldn't punch Envy's lights out for calling him little. He coughed once and nodded. Envy crossed his arms casually and stared at his little brother.

"Oh right, like Aunt Pinako will let you go."

"She might!"

"Well, if I pull the plan I'm thinking off, while we all go, you'll be stuck here cleaning the toilet and washing my underwear."

Ed's eyes widened in fear. He never had a problem with cleaning the toilet, but Envy's underwear? Who knew what was on those things! Then Envy's smile widened to a very evil grin.

"Not to mention that I put chocolate laxatives on Aunt Pinako's cereal this morning."

Okay, now that was bad. Envy let out a psychotic laugh that could have made Dracula jealous. Then he strutted away, cackling, then going into a coughing fit that made him fall over. Emergency teams ran him and the author happily gave him CPR, though he didn't need it. Then they dragged him away to where Cinderelric didn't really want to know about.

Later that night, after the rest of his family had gone to the ball, Cinderelric was completely miserable and decided to go to the courtyard to mope some more. Envy was right (which made Cinderelric almost puke on himself to admit it). Aunt Pinako would never let him go. But he wanted to go so badly. He felt like crying (and never noticed the onion plants right by him). Suddenly there were many sparklies in front of him that were in 4,596 different colors and there was a loud crack. Then there was a beautiful figure standing in front of him. His eyes widened as the figure did a ballerina-like pose.

"Lust?"

The figure growled, her long black hair dropping in front of her face. She was in a blue leotard and a neon pink tutu with ballerina shoes. She had pink butterfly wings on her back that sprayed sparkles every which way. And she held a sparkly pink wand in her hand which she whacked his head with.

"No! I'm ya fairy godmother!"

"Oh."

"Now, what are you whining like Wrath anyway?"

"Oh fairy Lust-mother-thing. I was invited to the ball on Saturday, but I have no good clothes for it and my Aunt will never let me go. Though my brothers are going!"

"Ah, I see. Well then, I guess I can fix that."

She stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled rather loudly. Three beetles came up, looking up at her rather oddly.

"Rodriguez, Sanchez, and Jeff! You're going to take Cinderelric to the ball!"

She waved her magical fairy wand and the beetles turned into three huge Budweiser-like horses. Then she picked up a bucket from Al's sandbox and poked that with the wand, then threw it behind the beetles-turned-horses. The bucket turned into a black stretch limo. Cinderelric turned to his fairy lady thing and frowned.

"Why is there a limo and horses?"

Fairy Lust-mother frowned and looked at the horses, holding her wand to her mouth. She made an 'aha!' noise and pointed the wand at the horses which turned into three lovely ladies in black tank-tops and leather skirts with black sandals and long black hair. They all giggled and huddled together, winking at Cinderelric. His eyes widened and he smiled.

"Oh, much better. Now what about my clothes?"

Lust fairy mother thing grinned.

"They don't call me the Queen of Fashion for nothing. But remember, this will only last until midnight."

She poked Cinderelric in the eye with her wand. Suddenly, there were Las Vegas-like fireworks that came up around him and he disappeared behind them. After the 'ooh's' and 'ahh's' from the ladies and people over 20 miles away, the fireworks stopped. Cinderelric appeared with a black hat the was backwards, his hair down, a black skin-tight t-shirt, a black fleece jacket over it, black baggy pants and Chuck Taylor high-tops on. Not to mention the expensive looking sunglasses. (A/N: I'm from Detroit so I made Ed Detroit-ified! Yay!) He grinned, showing his sparkly teeth that made the Colgate people want to steal his soul. The ladies all giggled again and began mobbing him. He managed to get out of the mob and give Mairy Fust Lother a thumbs-up and a lovely smile before he got attacked again.

"Well Havoc, it appears that Princess Riza's birthday will be a good one."

"Yes it will be Breda, unlike the disaster last year with the massacre. But this year, Princess Riza has gone trigger-sober."

"That's good, I still have a burn mark from the last time."

"Yeah, anyway, we've had a lot of stars this year, and some new ones. Like this next one. Introducing...Cinderelric!"

The limo pulled up at the Central headquarters at the red carpet and Ed stepped out. He and the ladies got out of the car. Two of the girls had his arms and the last one was walking behind him, giggling and waving. Cinderelric was flashing a smile at everyone and girls on the sides nearly melted. Four did and the sewage team came in and sucked them up with an emergency girl-melting vaccuum cleaner and resumed their position at the side. They had to suck four up with Envy and another three with Al. Cameras flashed and reporters chatted. Cinderelric did feel like a celebrity, along with the scantily-clad girls with him.

They made their way inside and into the ballroom. No one noticed a very sneaky Kimbley sneak a detonator into the pizza. And no one also noticed an equally-sneaky Greed spike the punch. Even Gluttony was there, though he was bolted to the ground and had his mouth tied open so he could act as a trashcan. Though he had a tendency to snap off a few peoples' hands and arms. Princess Riza sat on her throne, her trigger finger twitching every now and then. Cinderelric saw Envy dancing with some black and blue haired girl and he was giggling like a schoolgirl. Al was trying to sweet-talk a volleyball pole (no one knew how that got there). And Pinako was talking to several extremely hot guys about cars and engines. Cinderelric saw her head move his way and he dived under a table, where he saw Wrath (!) making out with a black haired girl with braces. The three girls followed him, then giggled and started hugging him. Cinderelric was too shocked to respond as he watched the mini-Homunculus making out with a 14-year-old.

Suddenly, they heard a guitar start going, then a slow, drawling voice began talking.

**It's astounding, **

**time is fleeting.**

**Madness takes its toll,**

**But listen closely.**

Then a female voice came up.

**Not for very much longer.**

Cinderelric peeked his head out from the table to see, to his surprise, Envy and Scieszka singing up on the stage, with Envy playing guitar. Envy began singing again, in a much harder voice, and Havoc started playing piano.

**I've got to keep control.**

**I remember, doing the Time Warp.**

**Drinking those moments when,**

**the blackness would hit me.**

Then both of them sang at the same time.

**And the void would be calling.**

Then the most frightening thing happened. Everyone in the whole ballroom began singing.

**Let's do the Time Warp again!**

**Let's do the Time Warp again!**

Roy jumped on stage and stole Scieszka's microphone.

**It's just a jump to the left.**

Then the other frightening thing happened. Everyone began dancing at the same time. Even Envy and Pinako, and Al with his new volleyball pole girlfriend! Everyone began singing again.

**Then a step to the right!**

**Roy: Put your hands on your hips.**

**All: And bend your knees in time!**

**But it's the pelvic thrust,**

**that really drives you insayayayane!**

**Let's do the Time Warp again!**

**Let's do the Time Warp again!**

Sciezka stole her microphone back from Roy.

**It's so dreamy,**

**oh fantasy free me.**

**So you can't see me,**

**no not at all.**

**In another dimension,**

**with voyeuristic intention,**

**well secluded, I see all.**

**Envy: With a bit of a mind flip.**

**Sciezka: You're into the time slip.**

**Envy: And nothing can ever be the same.**

**Sciezka: You're spaced out on sensation.**

**Envy: Like you're under sedation!**

**All: Let's do the Time Warp again!**

**Let's do the Time Warp again!**

But the scariest, weirdest, and most disgusting thing happened. Kimbley jumped on stage, stealing poor Scieszka's microphone, gave Greed a sexy wink, and began singing in the highest voice imaginable.

**I was walking down the street, just a-havin' a think.**

**When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink.**

**He shook-a me up, took me by surprise.**

**He had a pick-up truck and the devil's eyes!**

**He stared at me and I felt a change.**

**Time meant nothin', never would again!**

**All: Let's do the Time Warp again!**

**Let's do the Time Warp again!**

Yet again, Roy jumped up and stole the microphone that had been stolen many times before. And people just kept doing the dance.

**It's just a jump to the left.**

**All: Then a step to the right!**

**Roy: Put your hands on your hips.**

**All: And bend your knees in time!**

**But it's the pelvic thrust,**

**that really drives you insayayayane!**

**Let's do the Time Warp again!**

**Let's do the Time Warp again!**

The music stopped and everyone went back to talking or whatever else they were doing before, like nothing had ever happened. Cinderelric felt like fainting at that point. No years of therapy could ever make up for what had just happened. He had just seen everyone, and I mean everyone, doing the Time Warp. He feared for his sanity. It was bad enough having to hear them singing, but seeing them dance was just disgusting. Especially when Roy and Hughes were dancing, and Envy. Now that could just be considering a perversion of nature. Then he remembered, he had even seen Gluttony dancing, and heard him singing in a very high voice. At that point, Cinderelric was pale and close to fainting. He looked over to where Wrath and the other girl was. It was as though they hadn't paid attention, they were still going. He turned to the girls.

"Did you see that?"

One of the girls turned another.

"I didn't see anything, did you Sanchez?"

"No Jeff, I didn't."

All three girls shrugged. Cinderelric put his hand to his head and fell over. He had fainted.

It was awhile later when he woke up, looking around and seeing the girls also asleep. He snuck out from under the table. Everyone was slow-dancing by then, except Princess Riza. Roy was hanging off of a hook on the wall and Havoc was tied to a plate with an apple in his mouth, on the table, screaming. Cinderelric slowly made his way onto the floor and went by the throne, trying to sneak around his relatives. Princess Riza looked at him and pointed.

"You, dance, now."

He pointed to himself and mouthed 'me?'. She rolled her eyes.

"No, a Homunculus, yes you."

All the Homunculi stared at her, then went back to dancing. He looked to Havoc who was shaking his head as though saying 'you're not gonna make it!'. Cinderelric made an 'ahem' sound and the slow music stopped. The lights dimmed, and suddenly, Fury came out with two turn-tables and sunglasses with massive headphones that seemed to take up his whole head. Hughes came up on stage with sunglasses and a bandana and a gold necklace.

"Yo, yo, homies! DJ Fury in the house!"

There was a rather loud reception, then Fury started spinning the records. Hughes started talking again.

"Here we have Cinderelric yo! He's gonna be dancin' to the sounds of the one's and two's!"

Cindelric ran to a storage room and got out a giant cardboard box, then smashed it down to make a dancing surface. Then he started to...breakdance. And he was very good at it too. Everyone was waving their hands idiotically in a rhythm. Though while spinning on his butt, he caught a glimpse of Pinako staring at him evily. But he didn't care. He did a handstand and spun on one hand. Then he did the worm, and ended with a pose on the side. The music stopped and everyone went silent. Then Princess Riza went into a clapping fit. She leaped off her throne and hugged him. Everyone's eyes widened. The closest Princess Riza had ever been to hugging someone was choking them (and sometimes holding them at gunpoint). She looked at him excitedly and smiled.

"Do you want to dance with me?"

Cinderelric nodded happily and the slow music started and Fury was sobbing into Breda's shoulder.

"I swore to my mom that my disc jockeying days were over!"

Breda was looking around paranoid-like and pat Fury on the back, until Black Hayate came in and Breda took a swan dive off the stage and bolted across the floor to hide in a closet. Envy was sitting on the side of the stage with the black and blue haired girl sitting on his lap. The girl smiled at the dog and picked him up. Her eyes got really big and happy and she hugged it. Envy smiled, then frowned. His nose twitched once and he sneezed so hard that he flew into the wall behind him. The girl looked at him sideways.

"I though Homunculi couldn't be allergic to anything!"

He sniffed and looked up at her.

"Yeah, well, whoever told you that lied."

"Are you allergic to dogs?"

"No, not dogs. I'm perfectly fine with them. I'm allergic to songs about Istanbul."

And, just as he had said, the song playing was 'Istanbul Not Constantinople' by They Might Be Giants. He sniffed again, then sneezed so hard that he actually _went through_ the wall. The girl's eyes widened and she panicked. Then she jumped on stage and tried finding the off button to the stereo. But hey, this is Central, so she was having a hard time finding it. Instead, she pushed the repeat button right when the song stopped. She let out a sigh of relief and so did Envy...until the song started again. Then Envy sneezed so hard that Mustang's office fell. But luckily, Mustang was unconcious, so he didn't notice. The girl was in tears and gave up, going to the grocery store to get some Allegra-D and a box of tissues.

Cinderelric was having a wonderful time dancing with Princess Riza, not noticing the same song was playing over and over again. Then he heard the faraway sound of a clock chiming midnight. His eyes widened and he jumped out of her arms and bolted out the door, not noticing his shoe flying off and hitting Falman in the head. Princess Riza panicked and ran after him. The three girls beat her to the door, chasing after Ed, but they turned into beetles by the second stair. Princess Riza stepped on all of them and watched Cinderelric run into oblivion. She sighed sadly and began to walk back when she noticed the imprint on Falman's face and the shoe. Her eyes brightened up and she took it into her bedroom, wishing everyone a crappy night. Which Envy was having since the Allegra-D wasn't helping and his head was on the brink of exploding.

Poor little Cinderelric leaped onto his bed and sobbed into his pillow. He had such a wonderful night (and a little bit insane) and it had all ended with him turning back into Captain of the Miniskirt Slaves. He heard the phone ring next to him and he slowly picked it up, talking groggily into it.

"Hello...?"

He could hear someone, who sounded female, talking insanely fast with more people talking behind her and a lot of sneezing. He looked at the phone, then put it back up to his ear.

"Could you repeat that...in English?"

The person took a deep breath.

"It's your Aunt Pinako. You should be so happy because Envy is in the hospital for an allergic reaction and is also being diagnosed for insanity and schizophrenia and I'm not there to kick your butt! Al is here too, and we won't be back until tomorrow morning around 7. You better have breakfast on the table by then or butt-kicking will be the least of your problems!"

He could hear her slam down the phone and he frowned. Then he smiled. Envy had been sent to the hospital, and for once, Cinderelric wasn't being blamed for it! He set the phone down and fell asleep, not bothering with the alarm clock really.

The next morning came with a loud humming sound all over Central. It was the rarely-used P.A. system.

"Attention all Centralians or whatever you dorks are called! Princess Riza has issued a new contest for whoever can fit a specific Chuck Taylor high-top can marry her!"

Cinderelric had woken up to that and fell out of bed when he finished the sentence. The broadcast continued.

"All males in Central who believe they can fit in the shoe must report to headquarters today to be fitted for it. Except Envy because he can morph his foot to fit."

There was a loud crashing noise that came from the hospital a little over two miles away. Cinderelric was in shock and didn't pay attention. Instead, he threw on his leather pants, shirt, and trench coat and ran out of the house faster than you can say 'trashcan'. But right when he got out of the door and about three feet away, someone grabbed the back of his trenchcoat and a shrill voice came up that he feared.

"And where do you think you're going Cinderelric?"

"T-to the headquarters Aunt Pinako."

"Did you make us breakfast like I said?"

Cinderelric winced and Aunt Pinako let him go, grinning evily.

"I said you would get worse than a butt-kicking if you didn't do like I asked."

Cinderelric made his way up the stairs, but stopped when his hand touched the door handle. He turned around slowly and his hair magically came out of its braid. Roy, Al, Havoc, Greed, Falman, and Wrath all jumped out of the bushes around the house and all of them began to sing.

**Oh we're not gonna take it,  
No, we ain't gonna take it,  
Oh we're not gonna take it anymore. **

Cinderelric started singing solo at that point.

We've got the right to choose and,  
There ain't no way we'll lose it,  
This is our life, this is our song.  
We'll fight the powers that be just,  
Don't pick our destiny 'cause,  
You don't know us, you don't belong.

More boys from FMA came out of random bushes around Central and began walking down the road with Cinderelric to the headquarters with their fists raised.

**Oh we're not gonna take it,  
No, we ain't gonna take it,  
Oh we're not gonna take it anymore. **

Oh you're so condescending,  
Your gall is never ending,  
We don't want nothin', not a thing from you.  
Your life is trite and jaded,  
Boring and confiscated,  
If that's your best, your best won't do.

**Ohhhh, oh, oh.  
Ohhhh, oh, oh.**

**We're right. YEAH!  
We're free. YEAH!  
We'll fight. YEAH!  
You'll see. YEAAHHHH!**

Pinako stared at them, along with the rest of the neighbors at the amazing mob of guys led by the little Cinderelric. They marched down the street together, still screaming together.

**We're not gonna take it,  
No, we ain't gonna take it,  
We're not gonna take it anymore. **

We're not gonna take it, no!  
No, we ain't gonna take it,  
We're not gonna take it anymore!

Before they could finish their lovely song, they had gotten to Central headquarters with a very impressive following behind them. Cinderelric took a deep breath and took a step in. But the followers got excited and ran over him to get to Princess Riza and the magical shoe. Envy was brought in Hannibal Lecter-style by being tied to a cart-thing and having a mask put over him and he was in a straight jacket. He was being forced to watch so he would never cheat again. He sighed and watched sadly. Guys went up and walked back out, disappointed. No one had a small enough foot to fit into the shoe. Until Cinderelric came up and slipped the shoe on. It fit perfectly! Then he remembered Fairy Lust Mothergod Thing had made the shoes with her magic wand so they would only fit him. Princess Riza was delighted and Envy fell over from anger and couldn't get up because everyone was so interested in Cinderelric that the doctors forgot about him. So Princess Riza kissed Cinderelric until everyone told them to get a room.

So Cinderelric got married to Princess Riza (much to Roy's displeasure, but he was brainwashed anyway). Aunt Pinako was sent to Alcatraz for no real reason other than Cinderelric ordered her to. Al went on to get married to his volleyball pole girlfriend (no one wants to know what their kids looked like). Envy was sent to a mental institution where he met the black and blue haired girl and they got married too and had many more insane kidlings and they took over the mental institution. Wrath also got married and now lives somewhere in Hawaii in a forest where no one can find him and the girl. Lust Mother Godfairy married the Muffin Man and changed her name to Mrs. Fields and they own a bakery together on Drury Lane and Broadway. Fury went on to be a multi-millionaire DJ for a radio station in New York and owns a loft with his seven girlfriends and his dog and is world-famous for his remix of the Time Warp. And they all lived happily ever after.

**The End**


End file.
